Estre11az’s Weblog

Media globalistion from America seems inevitable and at times, part of progression. After all, Singapore has close ties with America and it seems natural for us to look up to the American society.

Our popular TV shows on Channel 5 are those from America, not locally produced ones. Well liked shows like, American Idol, Ugly Betty, Lost, Heroes and even Survivor, are all from America. Sad to say, it seems like there aren’t any well liked local shows. These American shows appeal to our wants and needs, where our preference in lifestyles are reflected in the shows.

We’re all searching to have lifestyles like those portrayed in the American shows, and we want to be westernized. It seems essential to me that our TV shows should start appeal to “who we really are” instead of “who we blindly want to be”. We want to be like the Americans, but we’re not.

A short clip on Americanisation:

We could see Americanisation everywhere around us – the food we eat (McDonalds), the junk food we enjoy (chips), Starbucks, Coffeebean. How did we come to be aware of all these things in the first place? Obviously, it’s through the media where advertisements on TV, radio and printed materials heightened our awareness of these American products. Sometimes shamelessly pushing them into our face as we get extremely frequent McDonalds advertisements on TV.

Instead of opening ourselves to so many American ways, I think it’s time to embrace our inner kiasu-ism instead.

The lecture we had on culture was rather interesting to me. After all, the society we live in (Singapore) has ensured that all races and cultures live together harmoniously.

Having lived in a multi-cultural society since birth, have we lost our individual sense of identity in terms of our cultures?

Edward T. Hall’s theory claims that “culture is an invisible control mechanism operating in our thoughts which kicks in only when we are severely challenged.” In the case of Singapore, where everyone’s individual culture and identity are respected, perhaps this theory does not apply very well here. There isn’t such a big threat to our individual cultures.

Actually, our cultures are accepted so readily by others that I think we start to pick up traits from other cultures. I think that over the years, our individual cultures (Chinese, Malay, Indians, Caucasians etc) have blended together to form what I think is the Singaporean culture. Although we each have our distinct differences, we also share many common aspects of our culture. Trentholm’s theory of where culture is learned, shared, dynamic and multifaceted seems to apply better to the context of Singapore.

Singapore’s most famous cultural trait: ‘kiasu’ (fear of losing) and ‘kiasi’ (fear of everything/ dying).

We even had comic characters drawn up for those traits.

I’m sure everyone remembers Mr Kiasu .

I find what we learnt on group communication, roles and needs very helpful and insightful.

Not only do they apply to student life now, they will also be helpful to life in the working world. Obviously, we will never be far away from social groups and associations. Being a part of a group/ society is a simple part of being human. All of us yearn for acceptance and tolerance from like-minded people/ friends.

Certainly, all groups come together with something common in mind. A project, similar interests or even similar goals.

But when a group comes together to do a project, task and maintenance roles play an important part in sustaining the group goal. Indeed, our individual task and maintenance roles would differ according to our own personalities.

Being a person who’s pragmatic, direct and sometimes, impatient (when I find things to be too slow and not progressing), I tend to be a critic-evaluator with my own opinions. However, a part of me is also empathetic. So it’s not hard for me to compromise to people/ situations.

It’s definitely essential for a group to have a good mix of people with different task/maintenance roles. With everyone trying to be a procedural technician and following every process by the book, simply said, it will drive me nuts. A group of bossy people would also not work well together because all they’d do is struggle for power and control, instead of keeping the project in perspective.

Mastering the art of communication in a group is most definitely important – no one lives alone, do they?

How relationships form and develop also comes about to prove that perception not only influences the way we communicate, perception also affects the formation of our relationships.

For many/most of us, physical attractiveness is an important aspect of relational formation. Our ideal partner has to be at least… pleasing to the eye. Isn’t it? That would be able to sustain the attraction, leading to the first step of relationship formation.

Personally, I have a tendency of forming friendships with people who are similar to me. By doing so, it is true, you do not feel alone – there are people around you who think and feel the same as you. This is a very powerful form of social acceptance and validation. After all, we want to feel accepted and part of society.

And something that’s close to my heart: formation of relationships on cyberspace.

True, cyberspace relationships (friendships and romantic relationships) do not start out the conventional way- wherein we are attracted to each other by appearance and first impression. On cyberspace, all you see are words. As such, I feel that cyberspace relationships begin on common grounds, instead of physical attraction. It could be common opinions, goals or personality. Sometimes, this similarity connection is so strong that people start feeling real romantic attraction.

It happens. 2 friends of mine, who got to know each other in an online game we used to play, met up and got married. One was a P.R. in USA, living a life she always dreamt about. While the male lived in Malaysia, and affluent young man who led his own company at only 24 years old. In such cases, proximity in cyberspace takes on a whole new meaning.

Being close meant emotionally and mentally close. Being close meant sitting in front of the computer, smiling at words a person said half the world away.

Well, to each his own. As long as we’re happy with the outcome!

Here is an example of miscommunication in a company, the boss of the company initiates a mail to invite his staff to witness an eclipse and how his message is passed by employees at different levels in the hierarchy and finally how it reaches to the staff…

Mail from CEO to Manager:

Today at 11 o’clock there will be a total eclipse of the sun. This is when the sun disappears behind the moon for two minutes. As this is something that cannot be seen every day, time will be allowed for employees to view the eclipse in the parking lot. Staff should meet in the lot at ten to eleven, when I will deliver a short speech introducing the eclipse, and giving some background information. Safety goggles will be made available at a small cost.

Mail from Manager to Department Head:

Today at ten to eleven, all staff should meet in the car park. This will be followed by a total eclipse of the sun, which will appear for two minutes. For a moderate cost, this will be made safe with goggles. The CEO will deliver a short speech beforehand to give us all some information. This not something that can be seen everyday.

Mail from Dept. Head to Floor Manager:

The CEO will today deliver a short speech to make the sun disappear for two minutes in the form of an eclipse. This is something that cannot be seen every day, so staff will meet in the car park at ten or eleven. This will be safe, if you pay a moderate cost.

Mail from Floor Manager to Supervisor:

Ten or eleven staff are to go to the car park, where the CEO will eclipse the sun for two minutes. This doesn’t happen every day. It will be safe, and as usual it will cost you.

Mail from Supervisor to Staff:

Some staff will go to the car park today to see the CEO disappear. It is a pity, this doesn’t happen everyday.

From personal experience, verbal communication definitely help to communicate ideas, opinions and emotions. However, it is also very easily misunderstood – resulting in miscommunication.

Having known many people from around the world, I have come to realize that although we all communicate in English, we use English differently. Our sentence structure and the words we choose to use might confuse an English speaker from another country.

For example, my German friend would not hesitate to say: “She left again today.” (to describe someone’s swift departure)

Upon hearing that, I would naturally think that: Oh? She has left before, so she left again today. Simply put, a repeated occurance. I think that’s what most Singaporeans would think upon hearing that sentence.

However, what he really meant was: she left really swiftly.

Considering that my other friends (from many different countries like UK, US, Netherlands) did not get confused like I did and even had to explain/ rephrase it for me, I gathered as much that people really do use English that way. But it’s not in my place to decide if it’s the right or wrong usage.

Ultimately, from my personal experience, I can definitely agree that with personal awareness comes understanding, discernment and wiseness.

Due to the differences in our upbringing, culture, religion and various other factors, each of us have different perceptions of the things around us. We perceive people and our surroundings differently, as such, our styles of communication are affected too.

I think perception plays a big role whenever we meet someone new for the first time. How we perceive this first impression will determine how we’ll communicate with them in the future. Needless to say, because of perception, first impression always makes an impact.

“First impression is an instantaneous of you as a whole person based on very little information.”

Although this video is for men regarding dating, I find it applicable to many other situations as well – not just dating. It’s informative and applies to regular platonic relationships and other situations as well.

Perception is a double edged sword. People perceive you base on the mere 5 minutes of the first interaction and first impression. Afterwards, they assume that’s the way you behave all the time, regardless of situations. These assumptions could be unintentional, but they play a big role in the future of the relationship. Perception can then work towards our advantage as well as disadvantage.

Equipped with the power to… “manipulate” perception, communication would be much easier. With a favorable impression, we would find it easier to communicate and to persuade others.

Unfortunately, I find that easier said than done. Perception is subjective and everyone views things differently. What might be a positive impression might be viewed as “eager to please” or being a “smart alec” to others. What’s “pretty” to me might be “ugly” to others.

Humans! How do I please thee?

This is a first! To do a blog that’s related to my studies, that is. Well, more of my opinions to come in the following weeks of Communication classes. And I actually get graded on this blog…. *gasp* I will update my blog on a weekly basis, perhaps more frequently whenever I feel inspired.

Feel free to comment if you agree/disagree with my point of view. Discussions are welcome!

PS: Comments are moderated. Only constructive comments will be allowed.